Relax. You know how. You do it everyday. You sleep for example. And you, nevertheless, crave more of it! You desire more methods, more skills, more prowess to let go, let up, and let loose.
Relax. Stop pouring effort and emotions and energy and reasons and time and money into machines and lessons and language and schools and therapy and workshops. Stop trying, real hard, to relax.
Relax. No pressure, no need to worry. Relaxing is easy — go deeper with the following five free methods.
5 Free Methods Promote Relaxation in the Whole Body-Mind-Spirit.
- Huff-n-Puff. Inhale abruptly — sigh out-loud. You’ve done this before when you were exasperated or fed-up or exhausted. Try it again with some attitude. A sarcastic whatever attitude could flush out the tensions; a disgusted what-an-idiot projection might release stress. Huffing and puffing helps us relax naturally, even if bitterly. It’s easy and it’s free.
- Shake “No” — try this softly. Shake your head. Nose pointing from one corner of the room to the other, to the other, to the other, back and forth, shake your head. A small, soft shake will do. Mesmerize yourself. You can even employ the bitterness from the Huff-and-Puff. It is important, however, to pull your head in so that your head balances atop your shoulders. Each ear lines up over each shoulder. Shake no, and feel the back of your head, those muscles, the ones gripping your skull in position, feel them relax. Yes. Relax.
- Smile Inside. It’s the physical act that matters: this one happens deep in your throat, behind your tongue. Smile. You don’t have to show it. It’s that inner I’m-so-satisfied-grin. Smile inside. Feel your deep grinning pull up your spine. Grin inside about anything: use revenge, secret knowledge, long-term spite to lift the edges of an inner smile. Of course, love and friendship and contentment make smiling inside easy. Ah.
- Pound Something. Beat it. Wreck it. Pull it down from the top shelf. Push it off the counter with fantastic fury or fabulous delight. Hit it. Kick it. Smash it. Whatever you do: work. Physical work releases loads of stress and when it’s done, it’s satisfying and primal. Babies do it (mine does). My son does it without chagrin, without anger, without resentment. He loves to see things pulled apart, dissassembled, and broken. (Inside, he smiles.) Sometimes we need to see problems and obstacles broken in bits. Do this one well and, as best you can, carefully. I hang punch pads on the wall; I hit things just for fun. I do Taiji!
- Wave Hands Like Clouds. T’ai-chi proper brings great results. The more intimate your knowledge of your body, the deeper this kind of movement instills stillness. Wave your hands like they are clouds. Get it. Try it. Emulate cirrus, strato-cumulus, or cumulonimbus clouds. Wave hands through clouds. Stand in a park, on a mountain, in a field, on a roof, in a stream, on a tree, or in your room (right now) and, while looking through your top hand, watch your hands wave through those far away clouds. Relax: even if you’re waving them through piling storm clouds, it feels fine.
No doubt myriads of legitimate ways to relax exist. (Take a nap.) Many descriptions lurk in twilight for each somnambulist method. (Go to sleep.) If you take notes on your process of deepening and experiencing and watching your relaxation bloom, you’ll find something peculiar about your breath. (Let go.)
Bonus Relaxation Method #6.
- Breath As If Sleeping. Try it…wait…to get a great grasp on this method, you might need personal research. Study, watch, experience your breath as you begin to drift into sleep tonight — or right now during your nap. Notice changes in breathing rhythm and shifts in breathing depth. You can also: watch a baby sleeping. Notice your friend napping, your spouse sleeping or snoring. And if you can’t be sure about your personal sleep-breathing patterns, then guess. Emulate your vision of an obnoxious, snoring sleeper. Support your big head either standing or lying down. Mouth closed: huff your breath in. Pause briefly. Mouth slightly open (perhaps pursed), slowly puff your breath, making a slight sleeping sound (we each have one). Pause just a little longer, letting the inhale-reflex cause the next huff. That’s it. Breath as if sleeping.
Relax.
July 30th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
These are some very nice suggestions. I’m going to give them each a try. Thanks !
July 30th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
I always appreciate new ways to relax-
I like the name huff and puff- and if I do it
exaggerated it seems to work. Also Our little boy shakes his head “no” quite often and to my delight it really has little to do with saying
no-it’s just fun and when we add smiling-there is no stress.
Thanks Steven!
July 31st, 2008 at 5:49 pm
I just did the head shake and the deep aggressive sigh. It made me laugh, so that made me do the third relaxation too.
Thanks!
Fun article
H
July 31st, 2008 at 11:07 pm
These were well needed tips on relaxation, that could not have come at a better time.
Thanks So Much,
Lindsey
August 1st, 2008 at 8:16 am
Great article. It was ironic that I received it from you when I was very stressed out. I like the “smile inside” method. It relaxes my forehead and tension in my face. It feels great! Thanks.
August 1st, 2008 at 10:54 am
Hey, these were pretty cool, they will come in handy when trying to find new relaxation techniques to teach to anxious clients!
August 1st, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I use these techniques all the time.
The smile within lead me to try Tantric laughing, which I have found leads to child-like feelings; i.e. happiness, creativity and the release of ones’ repressed child-like nature.
Great tips!!
Thanks for sending out the good vibes to everyone!
R
August 3rd, 2008 at 8:02 am
I am not sure what the word relax means in this context. Sometimes we treat the symptoms without treating the cause. Dealing with tension is good, but introspection can lead to less accumulating. These techniques while good methods, are rooted in ego and thus can be self defeating.
One can also try taking the self out, you have heard of putting your self in anothers shoes, this is taking the self out of your own. Once you remove your conflict of interest of pride, then tension which is 99% mental anyway has no place to reside.
In some buddhist thought it is taught that all suffering is linked to the ego. Tension is a form of suffering and the more we battle with our ego the more tension we suffer. I’d suggest letting go of whatever is making you tense, and then using relaxation methods involving the breath.
August 5th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Thanks for the suggestions. I am taking them to heart.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I’m glad these have been fun, funny, and helpful. I appreciate comments from everyone. I like the active use of the methods.
Thanks Heather and Ron for your laughter.
John J (your name is my name too) let me know how it works for your clients.
Lindsey and Julie, thanks for sharing that these work for deeper things.
Shaun and Greg: the methods better work!
Shannon just say ‘no’ is lots of fun, especially exaggerated. Ronan is this man’s muse.
Josh thank you for suggestions too: breath work is primary to pursuing relaxation.
Buddha’s reference to ‘all life is suffering,’ refers to this existential bit: living things have bodies. Bodies decay and bodies die and ‘it’s great that way’ as they say. Decay and death create suffering. But the ego is a different layer of suffering. The ego layer denies the truth. Not ironically (perhaps tragically), folks cling to the ego layer.
Let Go My Ego! was a popularized, sufferable waffle commercial. And, though it doesn’t help define the Ego, it offers a spectacular image. Introspection is often waffle-tisical. Many people constantly introspect, whether conscious of it or not, with an internal chattering dialogue. It has another funny name: solipsism. (Oh no, am I doing it now?!)
The 5 simple methods above draw strength from ease and honesty and silliness.
Smile inside is a necessary component of internal arts that pushes ego aside and, if used properly, exposes a great and sophisticated network of sensation and perception unavailable to egoly eyes. Reptile Brain, Eagle Vision, and Sung metaphorize this feeling-action.
Practiced under duress of burly push hands or under the strain of long-term Qigong (the Nei version), body exhausted, ego distracted, deflated, and dysfunctional, the world stands still, shadows coalescing in brilliant light.
August 9th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
I follow the dharma and keep the vedas, reading many sutras too. The buddhism I follow does not teach that life is suffering because of decay. It teaches that suffering is rooted to the ego, which is a fabrication of mind. In this Samsara is the cycle of reincarnating the false self in the mind, nirvana is learning to abide without this re-incarnation of the false nature of the mind. This is the tradition of sakyamuni who was born into the warrior caste where martial arts are a part of life. The diamond sutra contains some of the core teachings of the line, in which bodhidharma was 28th from sakyamuni. Bodhidharma is recorded in India as being a martial artist and his influence at Shaolin is said by many to be the introduction of internal principals into Chinese martial arts via Qigong. I mention this to illustrate the possible connection between the art of taichi and one specific sect of Buddhism which results in Zen sects in it’s transmission.
One of the original meanings(there are a few) of ‘chi’ is air, ergo the connection with breath and chi. The practices connected with the zen sects focus on breath and posture for the purpose of relaxing the body and mind. They have a well proven methodology that can be used without endorsing any specific religious beliefs.
I think we can all use methods of relaxation but hope that we learn to relax the source of our tension after we have removed enough tension to gain more awareness of said source.
Thank you for your teachings Mr. Smith.
August 20th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Great suggestions. Of course, I’m partial to wave hands like clouds!
August 29th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Greetings. The suggestions presented by Mr. Steven Smith are brilliant. My depth of insight into the Internal Arts is quite limited, which becomes more clear as I continue to pursue such; ironically this is joyously liberating. As part of my practice, I have been an apprentice to a doctor of Oriental Medicine for the last eight years, and, almost needless to say, the principles connected with such are many. Naturally, relaxation is one of the most fundamentally important aspects involved in health and overall well-being; it is, oddly, also one of, if not the, most difficult to consistently maintain.
What I comprehend and what I actually do are presently different matters; effortlessness effort is the door to “maintaining” absolute physical, mental, and spiritual peace, which, for me anyway, simply means “being relaxed.” Although this commentary is rather verbose, the whole thing really isn’t all that complicated. Steven has laid out some ideas that are profoundly effective and to the point, which, after years of intensive exposure to the complexities of Chinese Medicine, truly demonstrate a basic and all-important truth: let what works be the test of what’s right.
I have spent a tremendous amount of energy researching the deep profundities of the Internal Arts, and I have realized that the cerebral approach, though an integral part of one’s development, ultimately needs to be completely forsaken, and that the art must be felt. I would like to say that I believe one can both intellectualize and feel the art simultaneously (I am still, developmentally, more in the former than the latter), and yet, I am coming to understand that simplicity is bliss. It’s the simplicity that I speak of that greatly contributes to making the Internal Arts so difficult; as a highly developed species, we yearn for complex, esoteric, mind-blowing explanations to spirituality and higher existence, but it’s really all pretty basic: relax, relax, relax, breathe, wave your hands around, huff and puff, shake no, and smile inside. The great masters were interested in efficiency, and efficiency is simple. Leave the complexities to scholars. It all has its purpose.
August 30th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
I dig that the great masters were scholars as well as students of the arts whom practiced daily. There is no shortcut to gung-fu. The cerebral approach does not work, who has advocated it (ever)?
I don’t believe that the chinese medicinal system is complex, intricate yes, but it has a simple dynamic process based upon ubiquitus natural principals, not rote human trial and error.
It is my experience that the simple is the profound, ergo the value of clarity in definition. There are many simple overt nuances to words like ‘relax’ and ’strong’ that cause tremendous misunderstanding in translation. I’d still love to understand what relaxation means in this context.
With chinese martial arts is it good to be relaxed like a cat ready to pounce? Or perhaps relaxed like a cat sleeping in a safe place (like a tree) having pounced and eaten? Or perhaps like a cat taking a quick nap while keeping an ear out for food?
I was taught that relaxed meant, among other things; free of excess tension. Is this teaching inconsistant with that of the WTBA? Just curious.
August 30th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Salutations,
I believe that Mr. Young’s recent statements are highly accurate, richly articulated, and that his concluding analogies are, indeed, well-presented. It is clear that Josh is an experienced, intelligent, and insightful artist.
From my own position, though opinions among us (including myself, of course) may appear to vary in some respects, the apparent differences (again, from my own point of view) are merely colors painting a common canvas.
I see all of us as individuals on a “quest for fire”, so to speak. We may approach creating the flame along slightly different approaches, and yet, ultimately, the efficacy of these variations is self-evident, for, in the end, the fire is built.
August 30th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
I bet there’s shortcuts to gung-fu. Long sessions of Qigong seems like a shortcut, but my mind resists so!
Relax and strong are indeed defined in many accurate and inaccurate ways by internal art artists. In this context it’s meant to be simpler than sung. It’s also meant to be a touch funny and relieving to realize that you can maintain some bitterness or experience your emotions while dropping the excessive tensions.
Pound something may carry some extra connotation, but my 1 year old quite literally breaks things innocently with a gleam of awe and excitement. He works hard to get things to topple, but don’t we all?
Each method carries my relaxation (and strength) hint: it’s not what you think it is. Each method offers a unique peek into the wonders of relax, let go, release. Some are funnier than others.
Josh, Aaron: Which one works best for you? How did it feel?
August 31st, 2008 at 8:24 am
I confess methods 5 and 6 are ones I found I like more than the others. I like cloud hands because there are several nice variants on it (Chen, Sun, Yang) all using the same energies. I combine the breath work with the cloud hands too. I have other cloud hands like drill too so sometimes I just do the sparrows tail sequence over and over with a very cloud hands like intention.
There were times in the past where I would just hit things, I did not find it to be a good method for me in particular. It seemed to make me crave hitting things when I was not-relaxed. I like things like mantras too, they help focus the mind for me in ways that I don’t know how to replace.
August 31st, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Hello,
These are items that easily carry me into pondering. My initial response is several-fold and simultaneously singular; here’s a quick elucidation:
The irony for me here is that I’m consciously thinking about this in order to articulate it into the written word, while the very subject is something that I pretty much don’t think about at all while it’s happening; that’s the whole bizarre point.
In those spontaneous moments when I need to get rid of some tension and center my breath with greater ease in an environment that’s socially exposed (such as a grocery store, or whatever), I sometimes, randomly, go through what I’ve come to call “the hidden elemental circular line swagger.” This isn’t any kind of regiment; it will just happen “whenever.”
This is basically an “unorthodox, Taiji-like” way of going through the Five Element Fists of Xingyiquan with Bagua-ish stepping in small linear circles. I guess you’d have to see what I’m talking about for it to make more sense. Surprisingly, this draws little, if any, attention from onlookers. This just started happening one day. I won’t say that I “invented it”; I just stumbled upon this in a random moment.
In a more private setting, I sometimes work an element that’s conducive to the season (”Fire”/ “The Pounding Fist” is connected with early to mid summer, for instance), and, like some of you, move into variations of “walking with ward-off”/”cloud hands” before going into practicing the Cheng-Fu Form, Circular Form, or whatever I’m going to be playing with that day, or vice versa. This is just how things have been going for me lately. Thanks, everyone, for your comments.
-A-
September 1st, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Josh, thanks for the specifics. For me also, hitting things can easily stray into egoist cravings…that’s no fun, nor very relaxing.
My best way to conjure relaxation from hitting things is to relieve a throbbing, stubbed toe. There’s something magically explosive about stubbed toes energy that pops through fajing punches. And then the pain, tension, stress dissolves. (Not that my cat-like prowess has me stubbing my toe often.) So I guess, to some degree, I recommend stubbing your toe. heh.
Aaron, walking relaxes you. Good: you suggest #3 and #5 in your words, but you leave me wondering. Which of the 5 (really 6) above methods help you relax?
September 1st, 2008 at 5:03 pm
A just question. The answer is they all do; I’ve found myself using the above fairly often as of late; it my recent “thing”, so to speak; coming and going while consistent; the moon in the stream.
-A-
September 3rd, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Cool stuff–my inner grin comes off as more of an inner smirk. Is that bad? ;]
September 8th, 2008 at 8:52 am
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October 7th, 2008 at 12:24 am
Nate. Smirk: it’s perfect, inner relaxation.